Have you ever felt overwhelmed by admiration, passion, or love? If you’re a woman, have you ever felt overwhelmed by wooing from a very “nice” and polite guy? You know that sickening feeling in the heart, like you’ve had too much sugar? Overwhelming, isn’t it?
Maybe you actually do not deserve love? Maybe you are sick, in a way, not really sickened?
I mean, yes, too much sugar can be overwhelming and sickening, but can there be too much love? I understand that there can be obsession, and we all–hopefully all–know clearly the difference between love and obsession. We should know how to tell the difference; we should know how soon we can recognize obsession; and we should know that in order for attention from someone else to become obsession, we must have sent very clear signals and perhaps even told the person very straightforwardly that we are not interested in them in a romantic way, for example, but they still persist in giving amorous attention and affection; that would clearly be obsession. But…can there ever be too much…love?
Well, in my opinion, whether you’re man or woman, if you ever felt like you’ve had too much love, attention, or affection, then you should really seek some help, because you probably have a deep rooted conviction that you do not deserve that kind of love.
There’s no such thing as “true love”; it’s either love or it isn’t. But we can use the term “true love” occasionally to explain certain points to the average person. By the same token, there’s no such thing as “too much love” or “not enough love”; it’s either love or it isn’t. If it’s not love, then it can be obsession, possessiveness, sadism, anger or whatever other mental or psychological disorder, and they all have clear symptoms to the sane and smart observer.
If you suddenly feel like you’ve had too much love, then instead of pointing fingers, look deep within yourself, and see if you actually have problems accepting that you can be loved so passionately, and for no good reason, just for how beautiful, inside out, you seem and feel to another person. If you have a problem accepting that, then you have a problem accepting yourself or loving yourself, and the problem is yours, not in the person offering love unconditionally. If you have no problems accepting a lot of love, then perhaps you’re just not interested in amorous love with that specific person. If that’s the case, then obviously the problem is not with them or you; and you can always explain to them gently that there seems to be incompatibility, because you are not able to reciprocate with the same passion, and you’re sure that if there were full compatibility, then you would’ve probably reciprocated with the same waves of passion yourself. That reaction and reply would be fairer and more respectful to yourself and the other person, and certainly much more graceful than assuming that the other person is “overwhelming” you. How can anyone overwhelm another with love? Or passion, or affection, or whatever beautiful feeling?
Someone may argue that love is a big word, and one shouldn’t use it in starting relationships. Keep in mind that that’s only an opinion, not a fact. Love does not have to be big or huge, it doesn’t even have to be a big or serious issue. Why do we make such a great fuss of it sometimes? Why can’t we accept that we can be loved for who we are or even for how we look like? If you’re a woman and you have problems being loved for what you look like, or quickly jump to worries and fears of being loved only for that, then perhaps you need to heal yourself and not let past experiences with superficial men affect your opinion of every other man. If you do not believe in “love at first sight”, then do not expect everyone in the world to also find the idea wishful or unworthy. If you believe that love at first sight is just physical attraction, then realize that not everyone in the world thinks the same. Some people are more intuitive than others, few individuals even claim to be a bit “psychic”, and both types of people can sometimes feel things about other people, just by looking at their faces, smiles, hearing their laughs, and watching their behavior. As a matter of fact, NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming has little to do with intuition, yet it is used by lots of individuals to understand other people better, just by watching them. So no, not every occurence of instant attraction or chemistry or love at first sight is going to be purely physical attraction; people feel drawn to each other sometimes for mysterious reasons. Spiritual people believe in the “soul”, and are very comfortable with the idea that two souls can be attracted to each other instantly, mysteriously, and at first sight; and some are also comfortable with the idea that the eyes are the windows to the soul.
For those out there who agree with what I wrote and can relate to it, my advice to you is to keep believing in love at first sight–if you already do, to keep being yourself completely and totally, and to never ever let anyone put you down or make you doubt the beautiful person you are deep inside. If you feel strongly attracted to someone, and your way of sharing those feelings is going to be passionate because that’s who you really are, a passionate, frank, and outspoken person, then by all means, be yourself. Be true to who you really are, every time. If you let the dozens, hundreds, thousands, or even millions put fear in your heart from being who you are, then how can you ever hope to get noticed by your…one in a million, he or she who probably can only recognize you when you are you, fully being yourself. Be true to who you are; let all the haters hate or the shaming shame or critics criticize or blamers blame; you are not interested in those. You have a much more important person to be noticed by, whether it is your soul mate, your perfect best friend, or your perfect employer. And they will only turn their heads towards you and notice you when you are…you, with all your weaknesses, strengths, mistakes, achievements, insecurities, heroic feats, goofy jokes, and cheerful laughs. Of course in the case of your perfect employer, you don’t need to share your imperfections, but you probably know that, don’t you?
Someone out there is looking for you. I swear to you, and promise you. And their only hope in finding you is to pass by when you are around, not when your body is around but with a mask on, worn out of fear or a desperate prompt for approval, the approval of everyone who doesn’t matter in the grander scheme of your life.
Related: The Risk of Love